multipack:

pu$$y so cheap its pu¢¢y

(Source: ihaveremade)

celeryandhummus:

does anyone have like ten thousand dollars they don’t want

(Source: baby-fish-mouth)

snorlaxatives:

i feel bad for the fattest person in the world because they can’t look at fatter people and be like at least i’m not as fat as them ya know

(Source: snorlaxatives)

If I ever got sentenced to house arrest I’d just laugh at the judge.

(Source: hunterandrewpence)

aquus:

assiest:

I hopped off the plane at LAX

and it was in that moment I realized I boarded the wrong flight and would miss the birth of my first child

so I put my hands up


(Source: sweetmotherofladygaga)

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

i should do my homework but that’s exactly what the government wants and i cannot let them win. not again

gigglingbean:

Heat makes things expand. Therefore, I’m not fat, I’m hot.